Monday, April 30, 2007

just one humble truth seeker...

I am going to be very honest and very vulnerable with you here. I consider you all very valuable friends with valuable opinions. For that, I wish to share what is on my heart. Please do not think this is some preachy guilt-trip; I do not think everyone thinks the same way I do and I do not think my way is right alone. I make no pretense and simply speak from my heart.

I care about the world. Perhaps more specifically, I care about people of the world. Every person on this earth is valuable and has a purpose. I have to believe that -- I cling to the hope in that. It is an intricate part of my Christian faith. I say that not as an evangelizing statement, but a solid part of me and who I am as a person.

I care also about justice. I can't bear to see injustice triumph in this world, yet I see it almost daily. Through my limited periscope of current affairs, my heart breaks for those who are being oppressed and yet no one will help them. I know there are still others out there, silently toiling away with no one to speak for them.

That is why I want to dedicate my life to helping others, specifically through journalism. Though I probably sound like an idealistic, naive college student with no concept of the real world (which I don't deny that I am), I have to cling to the hope that these stories will someday be told. By believing that every single human being is valuable, I believe that no one should suffer alone.

I realize I am only one person, probably not very skilled or special, but I cannot deny that this is my calling.

I have but one major adversary at this point in my journey: apathy. This past week, I have felt its crushing weight all around me. Its magnitude and reality have cast me into a sort of depression. I have questioned my future career, my motives, and especially myself -- not only my abilities, but who I am as a person. Do I really have what it takes? And if I did, would anyone really care?

What do you, my friends, make of this? Is it a foolish calling? Is there a chance in this world for hope to triumph? Do you believe that goodness really can overcome evil?

I am struggling. I nearly signed my life over to apathy this week. I know you may not believe me, but I really have struggled with this. But I know that world justice is my passion. It is in my blood. I really can't deny that.

So what do you think? A silly dream, or something the world desperately needs to hear? Can we really make a difference in a world of apathy, or have we already resigned ourselves to a fatalistic outlook that nothing will ever change?

Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself. Delete me from your friends if you want. Say whatever you must say. But above all else, be honest and ask the hard questions.

I guess this blog is not complete unless I offer a rebuttal to your post, Fire-breathing Butterfly. I say this in honesty and love. I do care about America, and its problem, and most of all its people. It also breaks my heart to see hard-working Americans struggling day-to-day, fighting bills and trying to make ends meet. Yes, there are a lot of demands on our money. Yes, it is hypocritical of celebrities to admonish us to give all of our money away for charity (as if they themselves were living modestly and doing the same). But just because we have problems does not necessarily mean we should ignore the rest of the world. I don't think we should funnel money into corrupt governments, but what about programs to change those corrupt governments so that the people there *can* help themselves? Why is it wrong for us to help children who are dying of preventable diseases, or enslaved to pay off family debt, or serving in corrupt armies of ruthless dictators? Is it wrong of me to want to help these children who have nowhere else to turn? America has many problems, that is true. We will always have problems, big or small; we will always have them. It is my strong conviction, however, that we are blessed. Though it is hard to see sometimes, we are still very blessed. I can't expect that this one blog will change your mind on this point. Even if I wrote a million blogs on this topic, I couldn't expect that to change your mind. But I still pray daily that we will open our eyes to see the blessings instead of the curses.

Does that make me a saint? Not likely. I'm just one humble truth seeker, trying to change the world. Will you join me?

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